Whereas, Philadelphia has made hiring homosexuals as Scout Leaders a condition of their rental;

Whereas, Philadelphia raised the rent of the Boy Scouts of America to unaffordable rates as a result of their hiring criteria;

Whereas, Philadelphia has crummy, narrow, dirty streets (especially the Sure Kill Expressway);

Whereas,Philadelphia fails to provide safe, overnight parking for big trucks;

Whereas, Philadelphia has high crime, overpriced and under-medicated prostitutes;

Whereas, Philadelphia just plain sucks (except for Rittenhouse Square);

Therefore be it resolved:

We the undersigned petitioners demand that the City of

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

officially change its name to  

Felatiadelphia, Pennsylvania.

1. 

2. 

3.

Add your name to the bottom of the list, forward it to everyone on your email address list and feel gratified that you've done part of your part.

(When this list gets to 1,000 names, please send it to feedback@thechigger.net . The Filthydelphia City Council doesn't publish an email address that we can find.  The Chigger will print out the petitions and send hard copy to the City of Filthydelphia City Council and numerous other places.)